To Scrap...or Not To Scrap...

I have been thinking about why I don't scrapbook as much as I used to. I always think about why I don't scrapbook as much as I used to. I think about not scrapbooking more than I actually scrapbook! I pondered and pondered this much of the weekend and then...I made a list of the reasons for not scrapbooking...as much as I used to. Wanna hear it? Here it go...

1. I'm too stinkin' tired to scrapbook. My kids have been working on my last nerve for about a year now and recently my husband (obviously sympathetic to their cause) decided to join them on their little crusade. By the time I get done cleaning up after people who should be able to clean up after themselves, I just want to vegitate. Sometimes I take out pictures and think about the good old days (when they couldn't walk or talk and when my hubby actually cared if his wife did a Linda Blair-Exorcist impersonation)...but it never fails that my reverie is broken by someone screaming about somebody else looking at them or breathing on them.
   
2. I have too much stuff to scrapbook. I hate the idea of getting "caught up" when it comes to scrapbooking. It's a term that implies that somehow you will stop generating memories. I still hold that you only stop making memories when you die...so you can't actually be caught up. Still, I have so much to scrapbook in order to feel caught up to this years memories. I can hear the clock ticking on my ability to remember all of the special details of the photos that I've set aside for scrapbooking. Did you know that the imaginary sound of a ticking clock can creatively cripple you?
3. I have too much darned scrapbooking stuff. Excess is a serious hinderance to creativity unless you have a mind like a library catalog and a photographic memory attached to it. The act of making decisions about my layouts can sometimes make me want to give up the goose and quit. Believe me...life was much easier when it was just pens, paper, and some stickers.
4. I used to sip the koolaid. I emersed myself in that silly world of scrap acceptance and almost lost myself. I now stay away from it...but by the power of personal strength. No, I stay away out of fear of once again losing myself. The fact that I've chosen to stay away doesn't reverse the negative effects of my 2 years of immersion though. While the twitch I used to get whenever I'd put a layout online is gone, I still struggle with scrapping in a way that is true to myself. Oneday, I won't have to ask myself if I like my layout because oneday, I won't have the battle between my need for validation and my need to scrapbook for myself raging in my head. I struggle with the emotional baggage that resulted from years of trying to mold myself into what the industry told me that I should be...but then again, who doesn't?
   
5. I'm a crafty mutt. Sewing, drawing, jewelry making and scrapbooking all compete for what little bit of attention (and sanity) that my family leaves me to play with. I am literally sitting at my computer looking at shelves and shelves of scrapbooking stuff to my left and shelves and shelves of pretty gemstone beads and Swarovski crystals on my right. It never fails that while I scrapbook, I think about making jewelry and while I'm making jewelry, I think about scrapbooking. How could I possibly be expected to choose? Oh, and the day that I sew a crystal on my scrapbooking page or use my scrappy charms on a piece of jewelry will be the day that I give them both up...I just couldn't take it if my supplies went all 'multipurpose' on me.

Now that I have it in writing...maybe I'll be able to do something productive about getting motivated. At least that's what I hope will happen. Well, I guess, since I'm looking at the darned stuff, I should get off the computer and go do something with some of it.

TFR