I've read comment after comment about how beautiful scrapbooking for some before they ventured to make it more than a personal hobby. The number of head nods I get when I mention that having fewer supplies sparked more creativity than having a scraproom full of them could possibly throw the planet off of it's orbital axis if we could all get together and synchronise our affirmations. On three everyone...one, two, three, NOD!
Here's a question...When did Scrapbooking start making you unhappy?
Here's another one...Why are you doing it if the very act throws your biorhythms out of wack and manifestst physical symptoms that are similar to those described in depression and anxiety medication commercials?
If you got into scrapbooking because it was a 'fun' hobby, why did you endure even though it no longer registered a reading on your 'fun meter'?
Opinions are like *insert clever/crass word here*... everybody has one. Here is mine:
There are no shoulds in scrapbooking...or any craft that depends heavily on personal preference and aestetic appreciation. Actually, there is one: You should get enjoyment out of anything that you choose to spend any part of the few precious minutes of daily you-time you steal for yourself.
It's a lot harder than it looks, sounds, and smells, folks. Many have recollected the ease of completing pages 'back in the day'. I remember retreating to my scrapping space nightly and trying to get my ideas on paper as fast as they were popping in my mind. I remember the free flowing creative process and I mourn its loss so much that if I weren't so convinced that it would be an affront to my faith, I'd erect a shrine to it in my bedroom. Getting back to those days of artistic bliss has proven to be pretty darned difficult, let me tell you. Yes, I can talk a good game about asking yourself if you like what you're producing, and only seeking to please yourself, but the truth of the matter is that once you let that little voice of doubt and peer validation into your head, it's hard to kill the whispers. I did go ahead and enter the Sb.com Lucky 7 Contest (after much love laced prodding from my scrap-sister), but I almost didn't because of those darned whispers. How did I get to this point? How did I sit there with eyes wide open, and allow the opinions of others to weigh so heavily on something that didn't even involve them?
Zen = enlightenment through introspecion and intuition.
To me, it means the ability to look soley within oneself for inspiration and unconsciously trusting what is found there to guide me through the creative process without the need to validate every step. To me it means scrapping with reckless abandon and allowing my heart to create my pages. It means, ultimately, scrapping for whatever reasons I choose to and allowing that to be enough even if the rest of the world says it isn't.
But...how do we regain the ability to trust ourselves?
After being told for so long that ultimate success only comes on the heels of mass validation, how do you rediscover the strength of personal validation?
How do you convince yourself that your family's appreciation for your tribute to them is not only founded on the fact that you prepare their meals and know where they sleep?
How do you retrain yourself to trust yourself to not only effectively master your personal creative process but to shamelessly love what you've created with your own hands despite what 'others' may think?
Having recently purged myself of much of the materialistic fodder that was clogging my creative process, I am now left with the task of killing that little voice in my head. If I devise some cleaver way of silencing the voice of external validation, I will certainly share it here.
TFR
6 comments:
Very thoughtful post, as always.
I wish I knew the answers to your questions, as I am struggling with them, too.
I know that finding Two Peas has helped me grow as a scrapbooker, but I have also found that I've fallen into the trap of worrying about other people's opinion.
I also still remembering attending a scrapbook retreat, and holding up a page for the other scrappers at the table, and their reaction was total silence -and not a good silence, if you know what I mean.
In the end, their reaction did spur me to look at that layout, and challenge myself. I ended up really liking the additions I made to that layout,so in a way my fellow scrappers' reaction was positive-but it also gave my confidence a blow that lingers even now.
I visit your blog weekly and enjoy your ramblings, however this marks the last time I will read your entries.
I feel like you are not understanding what you are posting and simply repeating the same ideas with different wordings. You wish for a simpler time where you enjoyed your hobby, the supplies you had without worrying that they're outdated, your photographs, and your memories. If that's what you want than do so. But you ate your own words when you entered Lucky Seven for no reason at all. You say that you don't need the money for more scrap supplies, you say that you don't need the glory, you say that you wish you could scrap like you used to, you say that you want to scrap without pressure and you don't want anyone else's opinion to influence you.
So start practicing what you preach.
Yeah! I was reading through and nodding and agreeing with you and then when I read you entered the contest, I was taken a-back! Like, WHAT the HECK! That sentence really threw me for a loop! You tried to pretend or make us believe that your scrap-sister encouraged you! Hmmmm...
Please, get out of my head. You are scaring me. :)
I think I can maybe understand why she entered the contest. I find myself wanting to post my LOs online just to prove to myself that I don't care what anyone else thinks. But when I do that I find myself continually checking for praise. I had to stop posting them anywhere. If I am going to get those voices out of my head and that need for validation out of my scrapbooking, I can't keep putting myself out there for rejection - real or imagined.
She was encouraged by her scrap sister and I know that because it's me. She didn't want to but I told her she had nothing to lose. I think she is an amazing scrapper and tells awesome stories through her layouts (I'm sure you can get that since her posts are always so great). One of the winning spots will be based on journaling and I personally think she'll win that category. Don't let her fool you, she's VERY talented I just wish she would see it. :)
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