In a perfect 'scrappy' world...at least in mine...

I was doing laundry last night *gasp* and while I was in the throes of passionate folding I began to ponder what it is that I want from the scrapbooking industry. I mean, seriously, will I effect change with my novel-length musings? Doubtful! At best I will succeed only in locating a seemingly small demographic of scrappers who desire to intelligently discuss industry woes. Believe it or not, that's enough for me. I aspire to be a writer and I think one of my most basic desires is to have somebody read what I write and find value in it. Mission accomplished, as far as I'm concerned.

Where was I? Oh yeah, what do I want from the industry? I would say that I'd love to see all of us getting along, holding hands and exchanging supportive words while we frolic around in merriment, but the very thought just made me throw up a little. Here is what I would see if I were to peak into my own perfect scrappy utopia:

• Words and Phrases like "outdated", "that was so yesterday", "talented", and "CM-Style" would be omitted from the scrapper vocabulary. Words/phrases like those are too often used in pious judgement of other scrappers artistic representation and I think we could ALL do with a little less of that nonsense.
• Manufacturer's wouldn't be limited in number, but they would have to follow a staggered release time table and quantity guidelines. The companies would be allowed to showcase their release at one of 2 trade shows held per year. The first 1/2 of the registered companies would have to reveal their limited number of new products in January and the other 1/2 would reveal in theirs in July of that year.
• Speaking of trade shows. There would ONLY be 2 and only retailers would be invited on the first 2 days. The general public would be invited on the final day and the penalty for self promotion would be immediate expulsion and a future attendance ban (that goes for retailers who use the venue to leech free DT products from the vendors as well). Goody bags would be given to people who place an order only... that way, company's wouldn't have to leave the trade show feeling as if they'd been hogtied and beaten by the freebie grubbin' public. Maybe that would influence the price of the products that other retailers who didn't attend the show have to pay. It's a common fact that the trade shows have proven to be a financial black hole for many companies because of the entitlement attitudes of the attendees.
• The use of the word 'boycott' when not in reference to a company or event that is conducting business in a way that atrociously affects humanity. I'm tempted to impose fines or jail time for anyone daring to suggest a boycott of a company simply because it refused to cater its policy to allow for more financial gain for the retailers (even if it means red ink for the company). Employing children for pennies an hour is a boycott-able offense. Providing volume discounts to large retailers who can afford to order 150% more product than you can...is not. Neither is shipping the super large orders out first to the chain stores who then have to distribute the product to 100 other stores.
• Manufacturer Design Team calls would be taboo. That's right, no sanctioned cattle calls that primarily serve to boost product sales for a company. The marketing people would have to do some leg work and search out candidates and ask them to submit work for consideration. Stores would be discouraged from announcing cattle calls as well, rather it would be preferred if they chose their team from the group of people who have already made the choice to frequent that site...without ulterior motives!
• Somehow, through collusion or divine intervention, only 3 companies at a time would ride a pattern trend wave. That way, the scrapbooker doesn't have to choke on 15 different representations of the paisley pattern or 415 variations of the same flower power paper from 25 different manufacturers.
• The release of 'new' tools would be strictly observed. The Silent Setter, Click-it, Quick-Setter, Crop-a-dile. Need I say more? Okay I will. If it ain't broke, attempts to fix it will be scrutinized. Isn't it Johnson & Johnson that has the business model that states that if a product to be presented doesn't offer significant improvement over what's already on the market, then it's not released until it does? What improvement did the Crop-a-dile offer to those of us who have no interest in punching holes 1.5" from the rim of a coffee can? Did MM really have to come out with a notch tool? Is the spring loaded delivery system really so important that it was considered better than BG's similar spring-less system?
• "To Each Her Own" would be etched on every monetary note right next to "In GOD we trust". It would be on sign posts and on the back of every sheet of papers. Heck, there would be television shows that would teach how to better accept that everyone is different and how to avoid outwardly expressing any derogatory feelings you feel towards any one person's interpretation of OUR hobby. The US and THEM mentality would be taboo and anyone who dared to try to incite chaos by uttering disparaging words about other scrapbookers would be forced to walk around wearing a billboard that says, "I don't play well with others...kick me."

I guess in a nutshell, my scrappy world would just be a utopia of artistic acceptance and kinship. There would be no need for a lot of mushy hugs or sappy affirmations, but the general attitude of acceptance would more than make up for all of that.

Okay, I'm done being absolutely silly now. Perhaps I'll be more grown up tomorrow?